‘Allo Guvner!

What a dashing young chap!

I love accents. One of my biggest fears is causing an international incident because I tried one out at the wrong time. Every time I am around someone with an accent I have a mental conversation with myself. Mostly it’s just me trying to convince myself that I can pull off the accent and the other person will find it hilarious. And why wouldn’t it be? I’m making them feel at home.

Have you ever been around someone from the south? Within an hour I will bet you have incorporated y’all into your vernacular. Someone from Japan stopped by? Switch your L’s with R’s. Canadian snuck over the border? Ask him why and punch him for giving Nickleback a homeland.

But the godfather of all accents for me is the British one. Sure I can say guvner and crumpet and spot of tea. I even taught my 2 year old son to say that. But after one or two sentences it devolves into this hideous love child of an Italian and Mexican accent. Been that way my whole life. And it kills me because I want to join in on the fun so badly. I try an Australian accent and it turns into Crocodile Dundee on mescaline. I try a Spanish accent and everything winds up ending in the letter ‘O’.  I just really wish I could join in.

About Zero Brass

Don't Worry About It

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