Upped My Expectations, Now Up Yours

Best edit job ever

Every now and then you will come across some e-mail being passed along or facebook status about how if you have a man that has a job and doesn’t beat you or your kids and he lives in a house with you and showers every few days and remembers your birthday you should forward this message or repost it.

Really? Wow. I see the women of the world are really upping their expectations. How bad does your man have to be to praise him for having a job? Or more importantly, why have you been swimming on the shallow end of the man pool? Everyone has to have a job. That doesn’t make you special. Unless you didn’t leave mommy’s basement til 37.

Loves his kids? You can be praised for that? If you think that your man is stepping up to the plate by loving his own kids then you should see me. I sometimes even talk to mine and throw food into their corner.

My man remembers my birthday/anniversary. He remembers the day you talk about for 2 months straight with non stop hints? Maybe you should stop hogging this genius and share him with people who need him. Like NASA or the returns department at Wal-Mart.

Your man pays his bills. What fantasy world is this? Can I live in a world where I don’t pay my bills and get a piggy back ride to the unemployment office from Elizabeth Hurley? The next time he takes you to Applebee’s and ‘forgets’ his wallet, replace his coloring sheet with a help wanted ad.

What’s next? We are so proud of Johnny. He gets to use the boys restroom because he is a boy! Jennifer has a girls name because she is a girl!

Next time just think before you post. If you are praising someone, make sure they did something EXTRAordinary. Like paid off your parents mortgage or saved orphans from a burning building or went through a whole family dinner without offending anyone. Praising a man for having a job and paying bills and not being in jail says a lot about you and even less about him.

About Zero Brass

Don't Worry About It

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