Things That Must Go #1
– Girls wearing short shirts. It goes from hilarious to sad sitting behind a girl wearing a shirt so short she has to keep pulling it down to cover her vertical grin that is escaping her pants.
– Having to poop after getting out of the shower.
– Toast crumbs in the butter. Even if I put them there, I still refuse to use the butter they are stuck to.
– Dried crusties on condiment bottles. That solid ring of ranch dressing around the lid – I didn’t know that ranch got hard.
– Awkward conversations. I’m just getting the mail and I am in my pajamas. Do I look like I care about anything right now except getting back to my couch?
– Boob shirts. Of course I am going to look. If you are going to get all creeped out about it then quit wearing them.
– Zits after 25. I still check my birth certificate to see if in fact I am my age when a zit pops up on my nose.