Vanilla Ice VS House Flipping

House flipping shows are the perfect filler for when there is nothing on TV. And once you start watching them, you are usually hooked or get stuck watching a marathon of them. But after watching these types of shows for a couple of years now, I have noticed something – Vanilla Ice does it the best. Well, not him, but his show. (And good news, his little eyebrow design has fully grown back in.) Let me explain –

Shows like Flip Men are great and even better since they are local. (You should make the extra effort to support anything local. Flip Men site on SpikeTV link HERE and facebook page HERE. They must be doing something right, they flipped a 3 million dollar home in the season finale.) But every show like them has the exact same formula –

1 – The house looks risky

2 – They are about to spend too much or the most ever

3 – There is some horrible thing wrong that might sink them

4 – Something has to be tested, and if it fails they will lose all their money

5 – They barely make their timeline or budget

6 – They sell the house for a profit

Every single episode of any house flipping show for years follows that formula religiously. And it is getting old. I still watch them, but I don’t care anymore about the impending timeline or super serious test on mold or the really old fixture they don’t know what to do with. OR THE BUDGET. When they mention any of these things it’s like an infomercial, I know if I wait til the end the price will be right.

But The Vanilla Ice Project is an amazing show. Mr. Ice has been flipping houses and making a great living off of it and now has a show about it. While filming their flips, all he talks about is how awesome what he is doing is. They tear down walls, gates and yards. All he says is something silly like ‘Pop yo colla!’. They uncover a cracked foundation or mold, he just laughs and says a rhyme about remodeling. Not once does he ever mention how much money might be lost or if they will make budget. And it is fantastic. It actually makes him likeable.

Insert 'Wide Open' joke here

But the shows only down fall is all of the employees talk like they are trying out for a movie part titled ‘generic white wannabe rapper’. It’s almost enough to not watch the show. ALMOST. What saves it though is his attitude about the whole flip.

He loves Florida. So when it rains while waiting for concrete, they just say when this dries we are gonna pop the colla and holla! When something is sub par or ghetto, he just decides to spend money on everything to make it good. When they encounter a problem, (yo he solves it) instead of everyone looking hurt and confused or depressed, they have an immediate solution and move on. No bitching or cliffhanger for the commercial break. I love it. I’m just glad I found a new show to have on the DVR to pass time in between waiting for a new episode of Face Off.

Yo, I’m outta here, word to yo mutha.

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About Zero Brass

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