Ever wanted to see a monkey dry hump a cat in the name of science? I watched the Oscar nominated documentary Project Nim with my wife the other night. It’s about the first monkey to learn and use sign language. He might have been a chimp or a primate, I don’t remember. Want to know why? Because I was too busy basking in the glow of reassurance in my hatred of hippies. Everything I can’t stand about hippies was on full display in this movie. And it should be called a movie, not a documentary, but we can get into that later. First, the trailer –
That looks like a thought provoking and informative show. Not really. This is more of an exercise in what levels of stupidity you can reach with more than 20 years of education. There is no way to express my thoughts on this without spoilers, so you have been warned.
The first lady and family to take a 2 week old monkey home to teach it sign language, has no background in monkeys or signing. She does, however have a background in what I gathered was ‘Sex Stuff’. Her house was run on the assumption that rules are for idiots and free love is great. Under that guise we get a grown woman that breast fed a baby monkey and would let a monkey explore her naked body. You can go back and read that sentence again because I had to rewind the movie when that was brought up. After that nugget of information sinks in, they inform you that scientifically it was OK to get the monkey drunk and high. Because, you know, it was the 70’s.
From there, the man in charge of the baby monkey decides to let whoever he is trying to nail be in charge of the monkey. Because it’s the 70’s. From here the monkey, named Nim, starts to learn more and more words. And for some reason they taught Nim to sign ‘dick’. I don’t know why. But he goes from there to being a monkey and biting people and generally not liking being caged up. That’s only maybe the first 25 minutes spoiled. It gets weirder from there.
Every other person who comes in contact with the chimp, gets him high. Because it is the 70’s. That’s the recurring theme of the movie – it’s the 70’s. That and you should never have any type of primate for a pet because they can and will kill you. Or at least make you unpresentable to society.
One glaring problem with the movie, besides all of the sexual attachments perceived through the monkey and drugs and alcohol given to it, is it uses pretty realistic flash back videos that are recreated and not actual footage. Which to me takes away from the story and any realness I was buying into. I kept trying to figure out what was real and what was recreated, and they blend it so well it becomes almost a special effect instead of document. Also, I just watched Rise of the Planet of the Apes and that was a way better monkey movie.
My biggest take away from the movie was that hippies are idiots. Monkeys belong in the wild. And teaching a monkey to sign is pretty pointless. Nothing but stitches and weird bestiality comes from it. Oh, and don’t forget, you get to see a cat dry humped by a monkey in the name of science.