St. Patrick’s Day Is Racist

St. Patrick’s Day is coming up. You know, the holiday where we celebrate the Irish (I think)? Well I think it’s time we stopped it. It is nothing but a crude stereo type carried on by the 1% and evil corporations and probably FOX News. Because who else could be so blatantly racist and ignorant to the feelings of a whole race of gingers?

How do you prove that St. Patrick’s Day is racist? Simple. You wouldn’t celebrate Black History Month the way you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. Just imagine. . .

Instead of everyone thinking they are clever and traditional by eating cabbage and corned beef, everyone eats chicken and watermelon.

Instead of random bagpipe players and Irish bands showing up to local events, rappers show up at elementary schools and parades.

Instead of people drinking beer that’s died green, people drink Lime Kool-Aid.

Instead of people getting into drunken brawls, they have dance offs and crunking contests.

Instead of people wearing ‘Kiss Me I’m Irish’ buttons, people would wear ‘You’ll Never Go Back’ buttons.

Instead of chasing a leprechaun around trying to catch his pot of gold, people would chase talent scouts trying to catch a contract for a professional sports team or a major record label contract.

Instead of people talking with Irish accents, everyone would replace the letters ‘C’ ‘K’ and ‘S’ with the letter ‘X’.

See? St. Patrick’s Day is racist as hell. Shame on you clowns.

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About Zero Brass

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