Star Warsdrobe #1

May is Star Wars month. It’s when Star Wars entered the world, and when I married my wife, coincidentally, the exact same day. . . Anyways, get ready for a month of light speed observations and overall awesomeness.

The movie(s) I have seen the most are the Star Wars films. Mostly because they are awesome and secondly because they are awesome. So I have noticed a few things about them. Here’s is the first one to share.

The Storm Troopers are bad guys. I’m going to ignore the prequel crap. They are bad. They are Vader’s gophers. Granted they can’t aim, run fast or notice people walking behind them. But on the outside they try to trick you. They wear a white colored armor. Which should trigger in your mind that the good guys dress in white. Except for Will Smith and the MIB’s. But if you look closely they are wearing all black underneath their armor.

Which in my mind says that they are trying to hide their true intentions. They are masking their evil (black) nature with the disguise of pure (white) fluffy goodness. Look at me! I’m a nice guy. I’m good. Then pew! pew! Laser blast to the head.

Then you have Han Solo. The baddest badass of all in the galaxy. Until Lucas made Greedo shoot first and he turned into a complete wuss in Return of the Jedi. Anyways, he wants everyone to know just how tough he is. He’s a loner, a rebel. Just a man and his wookie smuggling junk in space. That’s why he wears the black vest and black pants. He needs to look the part of a smuggling outlaw.

Underneath that vest? A big white shirt. Because he can’t hide the fact that he will be back to save you before the credits end. He is the galaxy far, far away’s answer to the hooker with a heart of gold. Unfortunately he also will turn into a complete baboon and girl by the end of Jedi.

Next time we will discuss why Luke went from white to black clothes and why he couldn’t go back.

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About Zero Brass

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