Star Warsdrobe #2

I’m a moisture farmer

Luke Skywalker. Jedi Knight. Whiny little baby. When we first meet Luke he is young, optimistic and headstrong, but mostly a cry baby.

Since he is so innocent and pure, we find him dressed in white. Because when you are working on droids, machines and farming all day you want an outfit that is easy to clean.

The white suits him because of his naivety to what is going on around him. The war in the stars. The jedi that everyone knows about, but hasn’t seen in decades. Not knowing the Sand People are really just relatives of the Jersey Shore cast. And we identify with this because we are on this journey for the first time as well and are so dumb as an audience that we need to know who the good guys are.

He won’t need that hand in thirty minutes

Then in Empire Strikes Back Luke decides to wear a smashing tan outfit. Ohhhhh. Luke seems to be conflicted about his feelings. He has this great potential with the force, but he doesn’t want to learn how to use it. He’s like any man with a new gadget. He can turn it on and off and it looks cool, but until he reads the instructional manual it ain’t gonna work right.

He gets awfully cocky in this episode. I would be too if I hung out with a puppet and robot and was the only person with all my teeth in the swamp. This must be how you feel on vacation in Louisiana.

Best High School picture ever

Luke returns in Return of the Jedi. In black. I’m guessing he’s in black because 1 – He kissed his sister and wants to die 2 – He is in mourning for his hand 3 – His dad is way cooler than he is.

On the bright side, he has a nifty little flap on his shirt that flops open and is grey. He is a bitter man now, but that grey flap lets up know there is still good in him. It would have been all white underneath, but once you go black you never go back.

Next time we will learn why C3P0 is gay gold and Darth Vader is awesomeblack.

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