Star Warsdrobe #3


Damn you Goldfinger

C3P0 – If you have a character that knows everything, never offends anyone (I said offend, not annoy), has an app for that and may have a gender preference – what color do you make him? Why gold! Like a golden god.

It goes without saying that Lucas worships at the altar of technology, so he can have his golden idol. An interesting side note; the whole Star Wars saga is told through the eyes of C3P0 and R2D2. The two most worthless companions to have. 3P0 never offered any real help to anyone, and even though R2 could open locked doors and hack the Deathstar, Han Solo proved that if you just shoot the lock every door will open right up.

Making asthma scary since ’77

Darth Vader. The baddest brotha in the galaxy. And also covered head to toe in black, so you know he is bad. He had to put on his black suit when he literally played with fire and lost. He had two babies and left them. This guy doesn’t mess around. He’ll choke you and drop you like your hot. Drop you like your hot. Drop you like your hot.

But his saving grace is that when his black mask comes off he is white. So he really was a good guy deep down inside! Sure he was crusty and moldy and looked like a pile of play-dough vomit, but he was good. And what did Luke do? He skipped out on the Ewok party and he burned his dad. Again.

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