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Twilight – Breaking Dawn Part 1

Just like Footloose, I have never seen this movie before, and instead of reviewing it, I am just going to post a running commentary of my thoughts. Let’s do this.

This movie starts with Jacob being so mad he runs away from his problems? But he’s topless. Does his dad turn into a werewolf too? And if he does, does he have a little wheel chair for dogs with broken legs and a lamp shade around his neck? I’m curious as hell now.

People are excited about a statutory wedding?

What kind of a girl doesn’t want to wear a wedding dress and fancy shoes? OH WAIT!! Edward has a secret to reveal. . .

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Potter VS Twilight 4

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Stephenie Meyers Challenge

I received a message the other day containing a challenge. It might as well have been a Triple Dog Dare, considering the contents. The jest of it was –

Can you put all the Stephenie Meyers haters in their place? Yes, the books aren’t classics but they weren’t meant to be. The woman had a dream, wrote about it and did a good enough job to make $382 million dollars off the Twilight book alone! I get so tired of people talking bad about her! She is a housewife for Pete’s sake! I think she’s great!

Can I put the haters of one of the biggest crimes against humanity in their place. I thought it over for about 15 seconds and then said ‘Challenge accepted.’ The place that they are going to be put in might not be socially acceptable though.

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Potter VS Twilight 3

Potter VS Twilight 2

Potter VS Twilight 1


Hermione VS Bella

This really isn’t a fair match-up, but who cares. I just want to point out that Kristen Stewart makes the same stupid face everywhere she goes. And that Pot-heads are better than Twi-tards. And also that Kristen Blahface is the man looking boy in Panic Room. One girl sleeps holding her mans hand. The other has a dead guy watch her all night without knowing.

 Bella makes the same face everywhere she goes.

Better Role Model for girls?
And again. . .

 Here is the Emotion Chart – Hermione VS Bella

Role Model Battle One Last Time

Stephanie Meyers is Bella?

 And sometimes she almost smiles!

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