On my knees. That’s where I’ve been. I recently switched jobs; got back to doing what I am good at. Well, we’ll see about the good part. But the purpose of this post is too share my experience. There have been moments and even days where I have felt completely lost and unsure. Not in faith, but in life changing decisions. It’s not often I get unsure of myself. But the way some opportunities fell and others presented themselves, somethings didn’t feel right. So what did I do?
Went to the temple with my wife. Prayed about it. Now, the details of my conundrum don’t matter. What matters is that my testimony and faith in prayer has been magnified. Mentally and financially there was no way out of my perceived problem. I say perceived because, well, some of the answers I needed were revealed days later. And I mention this because I have a few friends that don’t believe what I do. And I love having those friends. But I came to a conclusion about myself through this.
When you feel overwhelmed and unsure about your parenting skills, take comfort that somewhere, someone is doing it worse than you. Like me. While cleaning the house the other day, my wife found one of our daughters old notebooks and decided to look through it before tossing it. What she found was an “I’m Running Away Letter” from our sweet, even tempered daughter. We have no idea when she wrote it, it was within 4 – 5 years ago. My daughter laughs at it now, but she cannot remember what she got in trouble for to write this epic farewell.
This has been on my mind for the past few weeks or so, so now you get to read about it. I was recently privy (still no sarcastic font) to listen to a person recount how their family, or more precisely their children, had fallen away from church and everything they did to try and prevent (ultimately cause) that. I also found a reason to repost this super sexy picture of Miss Hurley. I will explain in a minute.
Kids have little to no fear of adults anymore. You think I am wrong? Sit in on most classes in a public school, or threaten to tell them you will some how retaliate against their behavior. There is no fear in them anymore. I used to firmly believe that it was because we can no longer hit them. And I was wrong. It’s because of the evil TV and movies! I might sound like a rally cry from the 50’s, but I assure you I am firmly rooted in at least the 80’s. I am at the tail end of the last generation that remembers it being OK to get slapped or spanked.
Watch any TV show geared at kids, or even any family movie. 99.99% of the time the adult is portrayed as a complete imbecile. They are perpetually bumbling around, not sure of their choices, confused about what they think or believe in, and NEVER in charge. It’s always the kids that are portrayed as the intelligent ones or the only people that are getting things done in spite of their parents.
If I watch a family movie it is because I
have to am doing it with my family. Otherwise I would never watch them. Why? Because just like boobs, if you have seen one, you’ve seen them all. Well, some are bigger and better, and some smaller ones get the indie award for trying. By the way, we are still talking about movies. And I think my breaking point was the one-two sucker punch of Mr. Popper’s Penguins and Dolphin Tale; two of the worst movies this year.
Let’s break it down as to what makes family movies as of late so monotonous and boring –
My grandpa passed away on March 4, 2012. Usually I don’t join in on the posting about people online, who aren’t online, but in this case, I have taken something away from his life that I wanted to share. Technically my Papa Jay is my step-grandpa. I didn’t fully understand that until I was older. My dads father died when my dad was 8, so my Papa Jay was all I ever knew. And it wasn’t until I received the phone call that he had passed away, that I understood what that meant to me.
I’m a step-dad to my oldest daughter, Brighton. I’m sealed to her and she is always referred to as my daughter. The step part is a formality on government forms. But when Papa Jay died, it hit me really hard that he was the only example of a step parent in my life, and I never noticed it. Almost all of his ‘other’ family lived out of town, so there were rarely any times that I saw him with them. He was just my grandpa.
My daughter came from school yesterday, mostly because school was over. But when she did she was upset for about an hour over a boy. Her eyes just looked sad. The kind of sad you have no choice but to give a hug without asking if it is OK. And it was so devastating to see a young lady feel that way. And in the moments of seeing her, I discovered something about myself in that moment. I have a seriously dark, twisted mind. The first thoughts through my head, in order, were –
1 – Do I know a teenager willing to beat someone with an aluminum bat for money?
When my kids were born they were so beautiful and innocent. My wife and I had discussed what names to give them and what the names would represent to them and the meaning they carried. All of our kids carry a family name. It gives them a sense of belonging and history.
But what the hell are some of you doing? There are a lot of you just making stuff up to be unique. Read More…