Tag Archive | Lists

Things That Must Go #2

Sunglasses with nose stops on wires. When I see people that wear sunglasses on top of their head holding their hair back, but instead of fancy smooth frames, their sunglasses have those weird wires with plastic ends that stick to your nose. All I can think about is when you pull those glasses off to put them on, those nose wires are going to get stuck in your hair and pull it.

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Things I Cannot Prove

There are too many times when I think I have figured something profound out, and then have no evidence to back up my solid conclusion. All I have is my gut feeling and the force to guide me. The following are all items I am trying to scientifically prove true once and for all – 

The Chinese restaurant next to me is trying to pass off tired looking Mexicans as authentic Chinese in the back.

A girl knows within 2 minutes of meeting you your exact chances of anything with her. Nothing you do after the 2 minutes matters, her mind is made up.

Old Navy’s men’s clothes are all off by a size.

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Things That Must Go #1

– Girls wearing short shirts. It goes from hilarious to sad sitting behind a girl wearing a shirt so short she has to keep pulling it down to cover her vertical grin that is escaping her pants.

– Having to poop after getting out of the shower.

– Toast crumbs in the butter. Even if I put them there, I still refuse to use the butter they are stuck to.

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Shakespeare Beat You

I found a sight through Pinterest (I know, ghey, right?) that some girl had found all of the phrases we use that are accredited to William Shakespeare. Then I googled it and found out she missed a ton. So here is your half-a$$ed collection!! Phrases Shakespeare created that we still use today.

Knock Knock! Who’s There?
Heart of Gold
Set your teeth on edge

Break the ice
Off with his head
Heart of hearts
A sorry sight
Fair play/Foul play
Brave new world
Makes your hair stand on end
Wild goose chase
A piece of work
Love is blind Read More…

Ten Worst Gifts For Vasectomy Patient

 

The Top Ten Worst Gifts To Give A Vasectomy Patient.

Everytime I Hear 2

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Part 1 found HERE.

When I hear ‘Unchained Melody’ it makes me think about dirty love.

When I hear ‘Cruel Summer’ I think about waxing on and off.
When I hear ‘Weird Science’ I think about bra helmets.
When I hear ‘Where Is My Mind’ I think of IKEA.


When I hear ‘Stuck In The Middle With You’ I think about Van Gough.

When I hear ‘In Your Eyes’ I think about how light my iPod is.
When I hear ‘The Power Of Love’ I get grossed out by mom’s hitting on you.
When I hear ‘Canned Heat’ I think about sweet moon boots.

When I hear “Mary Jane’ I think Dammmmn.

When I hear ‘Moving In Stereo’ I think about the greatest bikini ever.

Part 1 found HERE.

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