Tag Archive | Movie Review

Twilight – Breaking Dawn Part 1

Just like Footloose, I have never seen this movie before, and instead of reviewing it, I am just going to post a running commentary of my thoughts. Let’s do this.

This movie starts with Jacob being so mad he runs away from his problems? But he’s topless. Does his dad turn into a werewolf too? And if he does, does he have a little wheel chair for dogs with broken legs and a lamp shade around his neck? I’m curious as hell now.

People are excited about a statutory wedding?

What kind of a girl doesn’t want to wear a wedding dress and fancy shoes? OH WAIT!! Edward has a secret to reveal. . .

Read More…

Cabin In The Woods

While walking into the theater to see this movie, a teenager dropped a $1 bill in front of me and kept walking. I picked it up and actually had to almost run to catch up to him to give it back to him. Instead of a thanks and maybe a cool fist bump (I don’t know what the hell they do now) I got a nod and a weird look as he walked away. Why are you now privy to this information? I will tell you in a minute. . . It is impossible to review this movie, so I am not. To give away any of the mystery of this movie would ruin your experience of the insane ride you are about to go on. What I do want to talk about is what this movie made me feel like. It made me feel like 17 year old Brass Monkey again. Why 17? That’s when Scream came out.

Read More…

%d bloggers like this: