Tag Archive | Movie Reviews

Step Up 3D – Live Review

So for the family movie tonight we are watching Step Up 3D. These are my random thoughts while watching it.

The movie opens with some dude filming homeless people asking them why they love to dance. Not one of them admits that it is because staying in school was way to hard.

Oh good, Moose made it back. And now his parents are dropping him off at college. With his girlfriend. His girlfriend, by the way, was the only white little girl in Missy Elliot’s videos that could dance. And Moose’s nose hasn’t stopped growing. That kid is Jewish. Is that racist?

For some reason Moose is dancing with a white kid who looks Asian.

Oh crap, he is Asian. my bad.

Now Moose is popping bubbles in this dance and releasing balloons to out dance the karate kid. I think I am about to release my man card because I was cheering for Moose to win.

Moose left his parents, girlfriend and backpack to go to an abandoned warehouse full of homeless kids that think dancing is an art form worthy of a high paying job. The mystery ring leader admits to collecting discarded dancers from under passes trying to assemble the ultimate dance crew. Every one is dressed liked Jem outrageously threw up on all of them.

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Magic Mike – Anatomy Of A Trailer

If you know me, you know that I live in the shadow of two men – Jack Johnson and Channing Tatum. My wife would literally hand me her wedding ring if one of them came knocking on my door and asked for her. So it’s no surprise that I am going to be forced into seeing Magic Mike more than a million times. Which isn’t too bad since when it’s over I’ll be the only guy sitting there, and she’ll make do. Anyways, here is the trailer which is a loosely based, semi-autobiographical story of Channing Tatum’s stripper days:

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Footloose (2011)

I was excited to see this remake because the trailers looked like they captured the spirit of the original. And the original is a classic ONLY if you grew up with it. As much as I like to pretend that the movies that came out during my childhood are classics, they are very much movies of their time that only serve to let me reminisce about the good times 15 – 25 years ago. So that said, is the Footloose remake a good movie? You’re going to find out with me because I am writing this as I watch it.

KEEP IN MIND – The preacher who is helping pass all of these silly moral laws, his son killed kids while driving drunk and dancing and his daughter is the town hussy. This family should just be chased out of town if everyone else wants to be free from death and STD’s.

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