Tag Archive | Things That Must Go

Spandex Clowns

While waiting to turn onto the main road to go to work this morning, I got stuck. Or trapped. Trapped is a better word. I was trapped. It wasn’t by cars, or an accident or even an old lady who couldn’t see over her steering wheel. It was the damn bicycle freaks.

Every time I had a space to pull out, some clown in neon spandex would come flying down the side of the street looking at me like I’m a monster trying to kill him. Which after the first bike clown blocked me, I was OK. After the third one, I was ready to kill him. So I’m stuck here watching these pavement riders and it is turning into monkey rage.

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Things That Must Go #2

Sunglasses with nose stops on wires. When I see people that wear sunglasses on top of their head holding their hair back, but instead of fancy smooth frames, their sunglasses have those weird wires with plastic ends that stick to your nose. All I can think about is when you pull those glasses off to put them on, those nose wires are going to get stuck in your hair and pull it.

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